Parenting

Today started out great. I went to church and led worship with a great team - there are few feelings in this life better than the warmth of making good music, especially music that lifts people's hearts and brings joy. I then ate a wonderful lunch with my family and friends. Then, upon arriving home, my daughter began begging for me to play with her.

I have to admit, there are times when I simply do not feel like playing games with my daughter. In this case, I was tired. My wife (who is getting less than four hours of sleep/night due to our 3 week old son) was even more tired. I was trying to rest, Jackie was trying to rest, and Chloe would have none of it. She started whining (something she is unfortunately getting very good at), jumping on me, crying, etc..

Feeling frustrated at my daughter is an infuriating experience. The more I get frustrated at her, the more upset I get that I am getting frustrated with her (make sense?). And I haven't yet found the ability to simply "turn off" my frustration. I am finding that it takes tons of patience and persistence to get through these episodes with Chloe - and I'm finding that it also takes a willingness to lay aside what I want for what is best for her. In other words - selflessness. Ding! A direct confrontation of my innate selfishness - something that has been a chronic condition.